Don't ask the comedian about what was his home office; a room now held to ransom by his children's possessions.
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What is your strongest memory of your childhood home?
We had a small terrace house in Richmond [Melbourne] next to the Dunlop Tyre factory and the street was blocked off by its huge brick wall. Great for kicking a footy against or throwing a tennis ball. Only problem was that our street's surface wasn't finished, it was just rocks, no bitumen, just rocks and it was a bitch to play on - so many grazed knees.
What do you recall about buying your first home?
We moved to Doncaster East and all of a sudden everything was bigger ??? the yard was bigger, the house was bigger, my room was bigger the walk to school was longer. I got lost on my first walk to my new school. I hated Donny East but at least I had a lawn to play on.
Have you ever house-shared with flatmates?
Only once: in Albert Park in my rock 'n' roll days in the '90s, I shared a house with my back up singer from my band The Flares. She used to walk around all day, naked ??? I was so happy. Then her very large roadie boyfriend moved in. I moved out shortly afterwards.
Can you share any tips for organising your home?
Obsessive compulsiveness helps keep things in order. Luckily my wife has OCD too, we have a very clean home. My kids call it OCDC, but I think they're talking about the band. Here's a tip: A great cure for OCD is when you have kids. They are so messy, grubby and unpredictable, your OCD flies straight out the door!
Do you have a favourite room?
My office. Well, when we first moved into our new home it was my office. Now my office has been taken over by Pok??mon collector cards, glitter glue and art projects, mother's club rosters and wrapping paper. Now there's even a slippery slide in there.
What is the worst piece of furniture or household item you have bought?
Any piece of furniture that I have built myself with an allen key is the worst piece of furniture. I say get Alan to build it, it's his key! A book shelf that I built for my boys recently just fell apart all by itself.
What's the best household item you own (and why)?
Our Nespresso Coffee machine rocks. We got our first one when my wife was pregnant to Peter, our first boy, eight years ago. Now I don't leave the house. It's like having a coffee shop in my own home
Do you enjoy gardening?
No. OK, yes, but only when someone else is doing it. I do like mulching, can't get enough of that mulch. Black mulch is my favourite but tends to lose its colour, so you have to keep topping it up.
If you could live in a dream house, anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I loved Venice ??? and yes I am Greek, but Venice's food, pastries, culture, the artistic atmosphere had me mesmerised.
Comedian George Kapiniaris appears in Straight Outta Compo, with performances scheduled for the Sydney Comedy Festival on April 28 and 29, plus a show at Enmore Theatre in Newtown on May 11.